No! Don't! Stop!

I have come to realize that, for me, motherhood has been taken for granted. I have been given three amazing children, and I am not even enjoying this extraordinary time in my life.

I constantly agonize over the judgments of others with regards to how I am raising my kids, which for the most part is exposed by their behavior out in public. I enjoy taking my children to the playground because they can run amuck and climb all over the equipment without attracting any disagreeable attention. But when we are at the grocery store, or the fabric store, or (shudder) someone’s home, the bad behavior radar goes on high alert, and soon every other word out of my mouth is “stop”, “no”, “don’t”. And of course, the culmination of all this high spirits hindrance is a great deal of anxiety and self-deprecation on my part.

I despise being upset with my children, and when I feel forced to raise my voice I ultimately feel disgusted with myself. In short, after these incidences I feel like a failure as a mommy. And of course the final crushing blow in all this chaos is that I begin to hate being a mom and I begin to think my kids would be better off with any other mom but me.

Getting caught up in what others MIGHT be thinking about me and my parenting methods has, in a sense, caused me to let the joys of motherhood pass me by at times. On the one hand, I am not allowing my children to enjoy their childhood and be what they are: children. And on the other hand, I am not enjoying my precious time with my children something I know very well is limited.

To be so concerned about the judgments that may or may not be there is debilitating as a parent (or just as an individual in general). I have found that if I just let it all go and allow myself to be in that moment with just my kids life is amazing. And, remarkably enough, when I am not stressing over my kids’ behavior, their behavior tends not to be so atrocious.

I’m not saying a parent should let their child run free without any rules or guidelines. As parents, we are responsible for preparing our children for adulthood, and consequently we should curb their behaviors to lead them in that direction. However, we shouldn’t base our reprimands on what be think others may be thinking, but rather we should instruct our children how we deem fit and in a way our children will respond, something of which only WE know (not a judgmental outsider).

Sometimes, we just need to so eloquently say, “I don’t give a rip!” and get on with enjoying parenthood.