I Love You Just the Way You Are

That popular phrase “I love you” is abundantly thrown around in my home. Some of our favorite variations, particularly with my kids, consist of banters and one-uppers: I love you one, I love you two, I love you three, etc.; I love you more, I love you most; I love you one hundred; I love you to the moon and back. But I have found one love expression seems to make the biggest impact on my children: I love you just the way you are.  

The first time I told my oldest that I loved her just the way she was, her eyes lit up and a sizable smile spread across her face. When I told my son that I loved him just the way he was he sheepishly smiled and said, “Me? You love me to be me? Being Gavin is great?” It made me realize that my children know I love them, but maybe they don’t realize that I truly love them for who they are, even if who they are frustrate and irritate me at times. It became clear to me that my children needed to feel that they are loved simply by being, not because of what they do or say or achieve. And though I DO love them as they are, perhaps I have been remiss in showing them that.

The wonderful thing about recognizing where we might be going wrong is that there is always a chance for change. And when it comes to kids there seems to be an endless supply of forgiveness and acceptance of our positive changes, which just makes change that much easier and more valuable.