Love Hurts

“I love you so much it hurts.” This romanticized line from My So Called Life has always stuck with me, despite the many years that have passed since I first heard Angela utter these seven words to Jordan. At the time I was in one of those hopeless romantic phases that seems to come with being a teenager, and that statement was something coming from a fairy tale, and possibly something that would never truly exist in the real world. But the moment I became a mother I realized that statement can be startlingly accurate.

Some days can be rather exasperating, as many of you mommies and daddies can attest to. But when the day is full of excessive tantrums and my consequential disciplining, exasperation can quickly turn in despair. After a rough night of getting shushed and talked back to by my oldest daughter, experiencing extreme outbursts from my son, and responding to a fair amount of clinginess from my baby daughter, my emotions started to run rampant on me. Having to discipline my babies, especially when it clearly upsets them, in turn upsets me. I know that being strong and standing by my warnings is part of being a good parent, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy task.

My kids are my world, and their happiness is extraordinarily important to me. Those crocodile tears that erupt from those brilliantly blue eyes can really pull at my heartstrings, and I’ll admit I come close to tears myself. I am strong and consistent for my children, but sometimes I love them so much it hurts.