Anger Overload

My three-year-old son is easily angered. My now five-year-old daughter was like that at his age, but she has a much better control over her emotions now, and often uses art as her outlet. My son has yet to find a way to unleash his anger without damaging objects or injuring people. And I realize he is only three, but helping him find a more acceptable means of expressing his anger would benefit not only those at the receiving end of his outbursts, but also him.

After quite a bit of Googling on how to handle angry children, I’ve come across a pretty universal list of “don’ts” that make perfect sense but can be so difficult to actually comply with when in the throes of a heated episode with an angry child. Things like don’t yell or challenge the child, don’t try to reason with the child, and taking a break from the angry child can be hard to remember, at least for me, when my son is throwing a fit and my stress level is doing nothing but going up through the roof. In the end, my anger is fueling his anger, and the fury we are creating together is engulfing everything in its path.

But I am the adult, and I should be able to manage my own anger and frustration, thus allowing my small son to feel his emotion and hopefully cope with it productively. I need to be the role model that shows him how to confront his anger, and be his support as he learns to calm himself down. I am not only the adult, but I am the mom. And being mom means my emotions come second (or third or forth) to my children’s emotions. Only then can I help my son find his way through those difficult feelings of anger, upset, and frustration.

I just have to remember: Breathe… Relax… Stay calm…

Easier said than done. ツ