I Need a Break

Being a stay-at-home mom (or dad) can be draining, and there are times when even I need a time out. I have a hard time taking a  real break from my kids and leaving them with a sitter, mostly because I feel the responsibility of taking care of my kids, and if I didn’t think I could handle having children than I shouldn’t have had them in the first place.

Let me just say this right now: My rationality of why I don’t leave my kids with others and give myself some “me” time away from them is irrational. I understand that. But it doesn’t make it any easier for me to actually accept how impractical I am being by continually declining offers of others taking my children off my hands for an hour or two.

I DO take a breather now and again from my children, but mostly it consists of me retreating to my bedroom and locking the door behind me. I know my sanity would be compromised if I didn’t let myself have a little space and a few minutes to gather my senses. But that’s usually when things have gotten so out of control that I feel like I’m going to snap if I don’t detach myself from the chaos that can be my children.

All that being said, here is what I truly believe (even if I can’t get myself to comply with my position on the matter): Breaks are ok. They are MORE than ok, in fact. Moms and dads need breaks from their kids, and in return, kids need breaks from their moms and dads. And if we need a break because we’re out of sorts, then taking that break and getting back into sorts will make a much better environment for everyone. Seriously, time outs are not just for kids.

It is true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and the time apart can make you appreciate the time together more. Since my daughter has started going to school, I take pleasure in having her around more. On the one hand, all that she is learning and experiencing is enjoyable for me to witness and participate in. On the other hand, I miss her when she is at school, and so when she is with me I treasure those moments, especially because her going to school has been a reminder that she’s growing up and have will have her own life, and I won’t have all this time with her like I do now. But all the time in the world together won't be enough if that time isn't spent well, and being able to be less stressed, more happy, and less angry while with our children is greatly affected by us allowing ourselves to take those breaks and get ourselves back into the loving mommies and daddies we are.

Now, if I could only take my own advice…