The Chart

Discipline is something I don’t enjoy doling out, which I’m sure most parents can relate to. Being the “bad guy” is never fun, but if we want to raise responsible children that understand boundaries and rules, then disciplining is a necessary part of parenthood.

Volume seems to be the overriding issue in my disciplining. My kids seem to only listen to me when I yell. And when I have reached my yelling point, it means I’m outright angry and there is a risk of me yelling things I may regret. So for me, yelling is absolutely the last resort and something I utterly do not like to do.

But thanks to an idea I found on Pinterest I have found a solution! I am the queen of charts, and so of course my solution is a chart: a discipline chart. For now it is working and I am taking comfort in the fact that the chart has resulted in way less yelling. I just hope that the chart will either continue to work, or it will become obsolete because my children will listen the first time around (knock on wood).

I’ve been using the chart for about two weeks now. My son is the worst offender when it comes to inappropriate behavior (yes, we use the word inappropriate). Twice he has reached the “go to bed early” stage, tonight being the second time. His last strike came from hitting is little sister and the early bedtime was immediately enforced (which ended up being about 6:30pm). The great thing about the chart is that it’s a clear visual for my kids. They know where they are, and they know the next consequence of their inappropriate behavior. I don’t have to argue or feel like I am being excessive in my punishments. It’s all there in black and white… Well, in blue and green and red and yellow and purple. So when my son got in trouble for the last time, he knew he was in for an early bedtime and he complied without too much fuss. Of course, he did cry a little and told me he didn’t want to go to bed. He even apologized, which of course I acknowledged. But after going over with him his actions that lead up to his early bedtime, and assuring him that he could try again tomorrow, he accepted his punishment and went to bed.

The chart does not lie, so arguing is futile. ツ

I let my kids pick out their little characters for the chart, which made them feel more involved with the creation process and also helped them be more accepting of it.

By the way, my favorite part of the chart is the “I love you”. No matter what trouble my children get into, I will forever love them. And I want them to always know that.

Note: I still utilize the 1-2-3 Magic techniques I wrote about back in May. But time outs are no longer enough of a consequence for my children’s inappropriate behaviors, hence a more gradually harsher punishments schedule was in order. For my kids, the ones I listed on their chart mean enough to usually make them quickly switch their behavior when I begin counting.