What Part of "No" Don't You Understand?

Despite the fact that I seem to say “no” quite often, as a parent saying “no” to my children can sometimes be one of the hardest things I do.

The other day I explained to my son that if he wanted to go to a birthday party his big sister had been invited to, he had to help her pick up their toys. I’m not sure if most kids do this around the age of two, but he agreed and then proceeded to walk around the room, past the toys, and just sort of dilly-dallied around looking busy while his sister picked up all the toys. Since he didn’t pick up a single toy (and there were plenty he could have picked up), I told him he wasn’t going to go to the party. Of course he cried, and his little sad face and elephant tears always pull at my heartstrings, but I had to stick to my guns. I took my older daughter (and of course the baby, since she is still breastfeeding) to the party and left my son at home with his aunt. The entire time we were driving to the party I felt so bad for keeping my son getting to go, especially since he had been looking forward to going all day. But I also knew that I did the right thing, especially if I want my son to know that I mean what I say.

Teaching lessons to our children, like giving a punishment as a consequence to their misbehavior and following through with that punishment so they know we mean business, can sometimes be difficult, especially when it means we have to withhold something we know they would take pleasure in. But the stability we give them by keeping our word, even if it’s not to their benefit, I believe goes a long way, seeing that if we keep our word when we dole out punishments we are bound to keep our word when we promise rewards.

Stability, trust, consequences, responsibility, respect… There is so much we can impart onto our children. It’s no wonder parenting can feel so overwhelming!